Myth: If I have to work on improving communication with my partner, it’s a sure sign that there is something seriously wrong. These things should be easy and natural.
Fact: The sure thing is that if you don’t work at improving communication with your partner, the relationship will deteriorate over time, just like a car that’s not taken care of will fall apart. Remember no two humans are alike and it takes time to get to understand each other. Be patient and keep communicating.
One thing that has made us very secure in our relationship is truly accepting each other as we are and giving space to each other to be our authentic selves. Obviously, we don't like everything about each other, but accepting these differences without judgment is very important.
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
As you grow together, remember to keep doing the things you did the first year you were dating
No two individuals are alike. And expecting that one’s partner would be similar to us in every way would be unfair. It puts pressure on the relationship which might lead to conflicts in the long run. It is important that both partners feel free and unconfined in a relationship for it to nurture.
Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.
