Myth: If my relationship is healthy, i shouldn't need to depend on anyone else for anything
Fact: Having a strong network of friends/family outside of your relationship can actually improve the quality of your relationship. When we have other people in our lives whom we can turn to for support, advice, and companionship, we are less likely to place unrealistic expectations on our romantic partner to be everything to us.
As a couple, staying friends has always been important for us, so we have a lot of simple rituals that help us stay that way. E.g together we write inspiring, funny, and uplifting messages on sticky notes and leave them in unexpected places around our community.
Building open, clear and safe channels of communication in your relationship not only removes the stress and distance of guesswork, they also bring in fulfilment, empathy and a real chance of growth. Remember, no matter how well you know your partner, you can't read their mind.
Over time i realised that i was showing love in a way that i understood and wanted to receive. I thought "doing things" for her was the way, but she wanted "quality time" together. A small change there had a huge impact on our relationship
Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.
Whenever she would do something that I didn't like, I would immediately go to a negative place. Over time I learnt to ask myself - What are other possibilities that may be more positive than what i am thinking? Assume she was trying to help. Asked myself the question - What’s another possibility?
