Myth: If my relationship is healthy, i shouldn't need to depend on anyone else for anything
Fact: Having a strong network of friends/family outside of your relationship can actually improve the quality of your relationship. When we have other people in our lives whom we can turn to for support, advice, and companionship, we are less likely to place unrealistic expectations on our romantic partner to be everything to us.
One thing that has made us very secure in our relationship is truly accepting each other as we are and giving space to each other to be our authentic selves. Obviously, we don't like everything about each other, but accepting these differences without judgment is very important.
Don’t complain about every small thing that irritates you. Be more accepting and let things be. Your partner is a different human being, so let them be that. Accepting the differences makes the similarities more enjoyable
Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
As a couple, staying friends has always been important for us, so we have a lot of simple rituals that help us stay that way. E.g together we write inspiring, funny, and uplifting messages on sticky notes and leave them in unexpected places around our community.
Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.