Before speaking with my partner about what's bothering me, I usually let him know what I hope to get from the conversation. e.g "I just want to be heard", or, "I want your inputs on something and love for us to problem solve together", etc.
We tried hobby swapping and found a whole new world of things to do together. Who knew? Turns out I actually liked some of his hobbies! Now we have a whole list of shared interests, and our bond is stronger than ever!
As you grow together, remember to keep doing the things you did the first year you were dating
Over time and after quite a few conflicts, I realized an important thing - I should keep the conversation focused on the issue at hand and not criticize my partner at the core of their character. That’s the difference between complaint and criticism.
Understanding where my hurt or fear or neediness came from was the first step in helping me strengthen our relationship. Getting to know myself better really helped me feel happier in our relationship, including the hopefully passionate, exciting, challenging, and rewarding life-long relationship with myself and my partner.
Sorry isn't the end of anything. If you mean it, it's supposed to be the beginning that leads to a change. So, the next time you find yourself apologizing to your partner, take a moment to reflect on how you can turn that sorry into a catalyst for positive changes in your relationship.
